I've decided that I'm not very productive about producing regular blogs. Actually I'm quite bad at this whole lets write down everything that spills into our minds at every second phase that our culture has adopted. I'm going to try to be better. I think I need to be better at that for the sake of my sanity.

Clinic is completely destroying me.

It's teaching me an extremely valuable lesson in life and while I would like to divulge every gruesome aspect about how I wish I was already done with my degree, that would be in poor taste professionally. I've never had a clinic placement that was anywhere near this placement.

Living up North depresses me. This will never be home.

While I do love living in our farm house in the country and spending hours mowing our lawn and keeping up with everything, this place is depressing me in just about every aspect. Financially we are barely treading above water paying for two homes and the responsibilities of the bills that come with two lives. I've only met one person here. She's a very nice lady named Margaret who lives down the road and cooks us  upside down cake. She's about 85 and very spunky.  I know no one else except for Mike and Gavin. My lovely boys. Although I do not have much down time since I work 10 hour unpaid shifts at the hospital.

The only thing that put my mind at ease today was going grocery shopping and cleaning the kitchen floor. At least I have control of that aspect of my life. And there's my beautiful Ham bone who tells me every minute that it doesn't matter if I'm a doctor or not because I'm his mom. Who couldn't be reminded of that with this face?

I really really do not want to make this a whining blog or a place where I just smear my thoughts like eyeliner. I do want to remind myself how lucky I am to have the opportunity to finish school, have a beautiful son, a wonderful husband, and a life that provides me the opportunity for happiness.  I;m just in a tizzy as of late with feeling the pressure that comes with working for free and still being a student.

Life is interesting sometimes.