So life is a mess of tangles that grows together like this beautiful tree. I have yet to gain the beauty of this naturous being.

Life has also become separated as of recently. I am separated in the fact that I have begun another long departure away from my dearest.

 

He is the love of my life.

I only hope that when him and I finally do get to live in one household, we will be able to tolerate each other's presence. I fear for our growing apart.

....

Life leads me in with these crossed and tangled branches of myself and leaves me tied in knots. I am so frantic over beginning this school year that I have already begun splitting myself into different people. The person who I magically get cast into when I enter southern Illinois and the other.

 

The one who lives here gasping for air.

The floating ghost who is desperately searching for them self.

The owl of the night.

I pray that one day I synthesize into one person again and the former takes over the latter. Only time holds the secret.

Each day I hope for miracles and awaken still breathing.

That is all I can ask for.

It's only day one of my departure.

Oh boy.